Tag Archives: fear

House Arrest?

Her words caused my breathing to stop. For a moment.

How could it possibly be?

“You are under house arrest. You must stay inside and talk to no one,”

My thoughts raced in a million different directions.

What had I done?

Here I was thousands of miles from home.

I was in the process of completing an adoption

and suddenly this.

Instantly there was fear.

How long would it last?

What if? A million what ifs.

 There was no way to communicate with my family in the states.

No. There I was.

So what do you do when suddenly life changes

and the unexpected happens?

What do you do when you realize that you are helpless to change things?

“O Lord. I really need your help.”

I prayed and prayed.

Hours dragged by as I sat in the small room with only a narrow bed.

One minute at a time.

I never expected that my desire to adopt would lead to this.

Simple meals were brought to my door.

No words.

Then my worse thought  hit me.

Would I ever get out?

To see my little girl at home?

My parents?

Ugh, but I was seemingly helpless. No phone.

It was at a time of unrest in the world many years ago

and for me a time of awakening.

These things really do happen to ordinary people. Like you. Like me.

I just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time it seemed.

House arrest?

Me?

Well, after a few days I was released

and was flown out of that part of the country

and back to a safer city.

But I’ll never forget that scary experience.

While the world kept turning

I sat and prayed for release, for freedom.

And in His time

God made it possible for me to be safely released

to board a small, very old, rickety plane

and to fly. Just me and 3 other foreign men.

Hair-raising moments? Yes.

Today as I remember

I’m grateful beyond words

that I was released.

Quietly set free and flown out of that hot spot.

Grateful to once again experience God’s hand in the details of my life.

And while we experience all kinds of changes and unsettledness today

it’s reassuring to know

that God hears our prayers.

He knows exactly what is going on

where you live

and where I live.

He knows how trapped some people feel,

He knows how much we miss what we used to do.

Yes, He knows.

And even though we don’t understand everything

we can trust Him

with all of our moments.

He has us safely in His care.

We do not wait in vain.

Let’s just rest in His arms while we wait

knowing that we are not alone.

And nowhere could be safer

than in His tender care.

 

 

When Fear Threatens You

It happened in 1953.

The Polio Epidemic.

I have no memory of the fear that must have swept the country

as polio attacked so many – especially adults.

Leaving many paralyzed, some on iron lungs, some fatalities.

I have no memory.

But  I remember summer 1953 being a busy time

as we moved from Allentown, PA  to Levittown, PA.

My little baby brother was born in March 14, 2020

and there was so much to think about

for a little girl of 4.

Big bulldozers outside my window moved the dirt in the yard

and literally terrified me.

But there was something worse that would cause me to fear

for many years to come.

Polio.

I don’t even remember that word

until summertime

when my world was turned upside down.

After a time at the pool

my mother got a severe headache.

Suddenly a doctor was called.

Hushed voices.

My older brother and I stood in the hallway

waiting to hear about our mother.

The doctor came out of her room,

gave us each a shot

and made arrangements for my mother to be taken

to the hospital.

She had polio.

The next few weeks and months were a blur

as I was taken to Long Island to stay with my relatives.

I had no idea if I’d ever see home again.

Strange memories of those days

and lonely weeks.

Tasteless scrambled eggs

and long days.

I feared that my mommy had died

And I would never see my Daddy or brothers again.

How I wished to have the chance to be a good girl.

I knew that I would never cause them any trouble.

 

Today we face a the Coronavirus Pandemic

and daily news of how it’s spreading across the globe.

Schools are closed, churches will not have services

and many businesses are silenced.

Day after day I hear of more closings

and with it that sense of fear mounts.

But in the midst of it all

my heart remembers.

Long ago.

That verse of comfort and hope.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV

That verse reminds me of Who is in control.

It reassures me when I begin to wonder.

What’s going to happen next?

It comforts me and gives me clear direction.

Trust. Don’t trust my own understanding.

Acknowledge Him

and then there’s that promise …

He will direct my paths.

He is close, personal and has promised to be there.

I never have to feel alone

like that little girl of 4.

Never again.

No, God has promised

to take care of me as I trust in Him.

Years ago I waited for months

with no word about my mother.

Years ago I had no hope.

But suddenly when that car pulled up

and my Daddy came to the door

my heart overflowed with joy.

We were reunited again as a family.

The lessons remain

God is with us.

We can trust Him.

We must not lean upon our own understanding.

But acknowledge Him

and let Him direct our days, weeks, months and more.

No one needs to be overwhelmed by fear.

No one.

If you are reading this

and struggling at times

with fear.

Remember His promise.

It’s for you.

Trust Him.

Put your faith in Him.

He will guide, direct and protect you.

Always.

 

 

 

 

 

Never Alone

My knees shook as I quickly walked down the basement steps

carrying my Tiny Tears doll, my money jar and my Bible.

Outside the wind was howling and the rain was pelting.

Sirens wailed continuously.

Tornado!

Shortly before my family and I moved to Kansas City, Missouri,

a  tornado had touched down completely destroying the local high school.

I remember driving by the school shocked at the complete destruction.

But on this night just a few weeks  later

a tornado was seen heading our way.

There I sat in the corner listening to the raging storm outside

and praying. Desperately praying.

Only one word came to my mind that night so long ago.

“Help!”

Fear surrounded me. And silent terror only visible by my tightly gripped doll.

But in addition to the fear that night so long ago

was another feeling.

Comfort. Strange as it might seem I felt comforted.

What brought this nine year old girl comfort in the midst of the storm.

My Daddy.

There with us in the basement were my parents and two brothers.

Being together with my family while the winds howled outside and the sirens blared

brought a sense of calm

but

it was my Daddy’s presence that  gave me peace.

Fear and peace intertwined as it were giving a strange sense of danger under control.

My doll couldn’t help me.

All the money in my jar couldn’t help me.

My Bible reminded me of the unchanging Truth.

God was with me. No matter what.

And seeing my Daddy sitting across the room

and then watching him go up the stairs to check outside

gave me an amazing sense of peace in the chaos.

Somehow I knew on that stormy night so long ago

that my Daddy would take care of me.

The years have come and gone.

I’ve faced other storms. Threatening terror.

And again and again I’ve experienced the strong sense of a Presence

With me.

I know that the Lord cares for me. Watches over me. Protects me. Provides for me.

So even when fear starts to rise and I realize my weakness

I remember.

God is with me. He is with you.

We are never alone.

And we can trust Him.

Receive His Gift of Peace right now. No matter what you’re facing.

He will strengthen you so that you don’t have to go through it alone.

Open your eyes and see.

He is here.