In order to adopt I had to do two things.
First, I had to let go of my longing for security.
and trust that God would provide
somehow
someway.
I remember being at the airport and walking towards the
gate for all those boarding the Washington,DC to Moscow flight.
Heart in throat
‘this is it’ feeling.
I turned for one last glimpse of my family
gave a final wave and stepped out of their sight.
Down the long ramp
and into the plane.
Out of myself and into His Love.
My heart was already numb with pain
my mind was still sorting out questions
but my will was focused on God’s Will.
Seeking to follow Him whatever the cost.
Alone
I walked carrying my suitcase filled
baby clothes
and a small pink baby blanket.
Adoption in and by itself would not have moved me
to step onto the plane that evening
and fly over the ocean.
No, it was a little face with serious, sad eyes.
That picture burned within my soul a reason.
I went to get her
and to follow Him.
Fears mounted within me as I heard the door closed
and the plane began to move.
Like Issac on the altar
I sat in my seat and closed my eyes
and prayed for God to keep us all safe.
Through the night sky we flew.
The hardest step had been made.
That verse came to mind
Whosoever finds his life will lose it, and whosoever loses his life for my sake
will find it. Matt. 10:39
Letting go of the known, the safe
freed me to receive LIFE….so much more of life.
Yes, I was a happy as everyone else when I stepped onto American soil
a few days later
but
deep within my heart I knew His keeping Presence
in a way that I never could have known it staying here.
Again and again I glimpse that truth.
We must let go
in order to receive.
Are you holding onto anything today?
Give it to Jesus and discover how wonderfully He cares for you.
Yes, as the old song goes,
His eyes is on the sparrow
and I know
yes, I know
He cares for you.
“…deep within my heart I knew His keeping Presence
in a way that I never could have known it staying here.”
Yes…that is the key, isn’t it?
So glad you went.
So glad I’ve gone before, too. Not the same place as you, but taken first steps that opened up God’s exciting will for my life.
I can’t tell you how much I enjoy and am blessed by your writings, Sharon. You’re a special lady with a heart used by God!
Thank you, Bonnie, for sharing your thoughts. He so lovingly orchestrates those times in our lives so that others too may know. Your words greatly encourage me.