Category Archives: fear and anxiety

Going Backwards So You Can Go Forward

Just the thought of going backwards makes me cringe.

I’m a forward thinking gal. I don’t like losing time.

But

I see it better as a runner and it’s true in all of life.

Sometimes,

    not all the time,

    but sometimes you must go backwards so you can go forward.

A few weeks ago I injured my right knee while running.

To be honest, I got too excited, too motivated, too lost in the fun

whatever it was

It was too much

for my knee.

At first I hobbled

and expected to be out running within a few days.

I’d never had a running injury.

Never in all my 40 some years running.

I limped painfully upstairs and downstairs

but no way could I begin to run.

I pouted. And fussed within.

Come on, Lord. Please heal this old knee.

As one day led to another I began to accept that this would be a slow heal.

So I rested.

And waited.

One week.

Two weeks.

Three weeks.

Four weeks.

Until today when I laced on my shoes and went out for a gentle run.

It was smooth and gloriously pain-free.

Reminding me again

that some times

many times in life

I need to relax and be patient (not my favorite trait).

I must be flexible and adjust.

And look for the benefits of resting rather than pushing, pressing and insisting on my way.

I find this is true so much in life.

Plans are made, goals are written – when suddenly the unexpected happens.

And I have to change.

Yes, accept the things I cannot change

And change the things I can.

I love to run, and pray, and sing, and dance and be active.

But when life hits

suddenly you have to pick up the pieces,

wait on endless hold

listen to His Spirit within

all the while knowing that our times are in His Hands.

Healing is important. Learning to wait is essential.

Yes, He’s teaching me but I have a long way to go.

Life is made of million upon million life moments.

The more we let go and are willing to even go backwards, if needs be,

we will keep going forward.

Growing in grace and truth.

And maybe even growing in understanding that it’s not about our timing.

It’s all about Him.

 

Me? A Prayer Runner?

It happened  quite by accident.

Mornings began early with me putting on my running shoes

and leaving my house.

 It was just beginning to grow lighter

and my running settled into a moderate pace.

Listening to the awakening birds.

Watching the first light.

Admiring the flowers with dewdrops on their petals.

My first prayers were ones of thanks.

“Thank you, Lord, for creating such a beautiful world.”

“Thank you for the birds singing in the early morning.”

Thank you, God.”

And gradually my conversation with God changed to

“Forgive me, Lord, for worrying about that.

Help me to trust you.”

My conversations with God were an undistracted time

when I could simply pour out my heart.

“Boy, I really need wisdom in handling that….”

One thought after another became a prayer.

Sharing with the One I loved more than anything or anyone

and listening to His quiet whisper.

My steps kept on and so did my conversation with the Father.

Somehow my prayers grew deeper out there on the streets

in the early morning.

Somehow I sensed I had connected with His Pleasure

as I ran.

Hills became nothing as I was deep in my conversations.

Way before I was ready to be done

my morning run was over

and I showered and dressed for my job as a first grade teacher.

But these prayer runs set a foundation for me.

One that focused me, nourished my soul, and grew within me

a relationship that has been so precious through the years.

Yes, I could have prayed at home

Or in the car

Or at a church

But for me, this rhythm of prayer runs

Became a place where I knew and was known.

God seemed to run with me.

Smiling His pleasure.

Some folks have discovered the benefit of prayer walks.

But for me, the prayer runs are the diamonds

in the midst of ordinary living.

Through them I have been transformed

from a stressed out woman to one who is continually growing stronger.

And if one day I’m not able to run and pray

I will walk

always enjoying the wonder

that He walks with me and talks with me.

That wonder never grows old.

Transforming Disappointments

Disappointment stings.

And sometimes no matter how much you tell yourself

  there are factors

   its not personal

   its ok

inside your heart you feel disappointed.

I wish I could take it away,

  wash it away,

  scrub the pain away

  throw it in the trash

but I just can’t.

But this I can do.

I can remember this.

No pain is ever wasted

No actions are ever useless

No sorrow is ever for nothing

No God

  uses it for good.

That’s the economy of God.

No waste.

He uses every disappointment

 To build us

  To mold  us

  To shape us

Into all He wants us to be.

His vessels.

His servants.

His.

So if you are dealing with disappointment today.

Remember this.

His Love for you is everlasting

 And there are no disappointments with God.

Suddenly I feel abit lighter.

How about you?