It seems like yesterday that I traveled home with my youngest daughter.
From time to time as we flew high above the earth
I glanced at her.
Tiny little two year old. Dimpled darling with deep, penetrating eyes.
And I wondered.
How would I manage to parent two daughters
along with having a counseling practice?
But when the fears loomed
my thoughts went back to my many prayers.
That long walk on the beach
seeking God’s Will…
Wanting to be sure.
From the beginning her adoption was difficult.
A failed adoption in Ukraine.
Endless visits to orphanages.
Then arriving in Russia and seeing her for the first time.
Moments that I cherish in my heart.
So small. So serious. Soooooo …..to this day there are no words.
Suddenly having to leave her without an explanation
that I would be back.
Yes I would be back.
Asking to go to a store to purchase a stuffed bear
and running up the orphanage steps, opening the heavy doors,
and giving it to the orphanage worker.
“Please, please give this to her,” Tears filled my eyes.
“Tell her I will be back.” It was so important that she knew.
The worker nodded and I turned to leave.
A question remained in my heart.
Would she possibly remember to tell my little one.
How would I ever know?
But leave I must.
With a heavy heart I walked out that day
And was driven away.
So long ago.
So long ago.
A lump grow in my throat whenever I begin to think
To remember the journey of bringing her home.
Love keeps giving and giving and giving.
Love seeks – pursues- wanting the best for the one loved.
But today as I pause to remember
my heart is turned to the ones I left.
Behind those orphanage doors I had to leave so many children.
Before I traveled and saw the need my heart was at peace.
But now I know the truth.
There are millions of orphaned children around the world.
Lord, free me from indifference and help do what I can with what I have.
My heart easily stretches around the world.
My heart aches to fill the overwhelming need
of children needing loving parents of their own.
Free me, Lord, from a desire to be comfortable while others
weep tears of loneliness and pain.
Yes, it’s too easy to forget when you don’t see the need.
But I remember and still hear the cries of little children
who deserve their own parents.
Maybe you feel you don’t have what it takes.
I understand. Neither do I.
But God has an amazing way of helping us do what might seem impossible.
And He still does.
Yes, He does.