Monthly Archives: September 2015

My name is I Am


It was warm that day so many years ago

as I pushed the wheelchair around the park.

Sweat trickled down my face but I wiped it away with hardly a thought.

The wheelchair was heavy that day

but my burden was light.

Yes, my mom was light as a feather and the sky a gorgeous blue.

The changing colors of the trees whispered the coming of winter

and I shivered at the thought

but for now

we had today.

Together we laughed and chatted as I pushed her down the path

admiring the trees, flowers and birds

the gentle breeze softly blowing our hair.

A fountain bubbled merrily in the center of the pond

and my heart danced with joy.

God had given us the gift of today.

I will never forget.

Though many years have passed I cherish that gift as a special treasure.

and when the leaves begin to change color and drop softly to the ground

my heart wanders back to that time.

Memories of the past give comfort and hope but sometimes regret and pain.

He is the great I Am.

He is in today.

His name is not I was

nor I Will be.

When we live in the past it is hard sometimes

with mistakes and regrets

but He is not there.

When we live in the future with all its problems and fears

it is hard

but He is not there.

He calls us to live today

to know His Care for us in this moment.fall 2013

Strange it seems

how easy it is to let our thoughts wander back to the past

or leap ahead to the future. All too easy.

But He is I Am.

He is with us today.

He whispers to you, “My name is I Am.  I am here.”

“Lord, you have assigned me my portion

and my cup; you have made my lot secure.”

-Psalm 16:5








When You’re Afraid

Fear chases relentlessly

but faith runs faster.

Fear taunts and teases

especially in the dark

but faith sings songs of deliverance

and speaks God’s promises

before it sees the answer.

From as far back as I can remember I have known fear.

Waves of stomach churning fear

and paralyzing anxiety.

It was so easy to look at my own weaknesses and limitations

confident that whatever it was

whatever the situation

I couldn’t do it.

Please Lord,

give me a great faith

I’d silently pray.

Years went by with small gains.

Until I came to know more deeply the One Who understood all of my fears

and He whispered, “Do it afraid.”

What a strange idea.

I had never thought that way before.

No, I thought being afraid

meant to avoid whatever the thing was the I was afraid of.


That only served to strengthen the fears.

Do it afraid.

Slowly I began to tiptoe out of the safe

into the scary

and risk defeat.

“Fear arises when we imagine that everything depends on us.” E. Elliot

I knew that I wasn’t smart enough or talented enough

but I began to realize that I didn’t have to be.

No, I was looking at life without Him.

Truth says that I plus Christ can do anything He calls me to do.


That was the secret.

That is the secret.

That always will be the secret.

Not in our own strength or ability.

He will give us victory right where we are

as we depend upon Him.

~ “Sometimes when we are called to obey, the fear does not subside and we are expected to move against the fear. One must choose to do it afraid. E. Elliot

So what do you fear today?

Yes, what is holding you in tight ropes of bondage?

If you knew you’d be successful, what would you do?

Words of truth come to mind as I click out this marvelous message of hope for all.

“The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances.” E. Elliot

He is able.

He is more than able to enable you to do just that

as you lean upon Him.

Let’s not settle for a small, safe existence

when He wants to give us an abundant life.

Let’s not narrow our choices by what we can do without Him

Instead let’s open our minds and hearts to His still Voice.


particularly with a focus on His promises and power

draws our attention away from ourselves unto Him and His ability.

Do it afraid.

Yes, those butterflies might still come when

facing a challenge that stretches you beyond yourself

But do it anyway.

Keep moving forward

knowing that fear will flee

yes, actually slink away into hiding – powerless-

when you determine to walk by faith no matter what the feelings.

Do it afraid, my friends,

and don’t stop moving forward.

He is more than able to give you VICTORY.


“If you believe in a God who controls the big things, you have to believe in a God who controls the little things.” E. Elliotroses in the morning 2015

Singing In The Storm

It was a night that I will never forget for as long as I live.

Suddenly a snowstorm swept our region

sending massive amounts of snow

more than I had seen for a long time.

At first it was exciting as my two year old daughter and I

watched from inside the cozy warmth of our home.

But the snow kept falling and falling

mounting high on the sidewalks and streets

covering us in a world of whiteness and quiet.

The winds howled around the corners of the roof

and the trees outside swayed back and forth.

“Lord, help us to keep electricity,” I prayed shuddering as the wind blew hard.

No electricity meant no heat

and without heat our house would get very cold quickly.

After putting my little one to bed

I rocked in the old rocker –

the one that I sat on as I fed my baby girl  her bottle and dreamed dreams of her growing up.

The rocker creaked and I prayed

while the clock on the piano ticked away the minutes.

Then suddenly the winds howled with sharp fierceness

causing the lights to go off leaving us in darkness.

I sprung from the chair and began to gather some belongings.

There was no way that we could safely make it through the night staying there.

Upstairs I threw a few things in a bag and awoke my sleeping daughter.

“We’re going to have an adventure,” I said calmly so as not to frighten her.

“Come on, honey,” and I wrapped her in her pink snowsuit and hat.

The temperature was already dropping inside the house.

All we had to do was make it down the street a few blocks

to where Nana and Papa lived.

I held her tightly in my arms and opened the front door.

The snow was falling thickly and the winds were blowing.

You could not see your hand in front of you that night.

My baby girl looked out and then fixed her trusting eyes on me.

Into the strange whiteness I walked carrying my treasure

and a small overnight bag.

The snow was deep forcing me to go slowly as I worked to take each step

making a way where there was no way.

Suddenly I began to sing softly a familiar chorus

one that we often sang together.

All through the day

  All through the night

Dwell in His promises

   Walk in His light.

Step by step I plowed through the deep drifts


My heart held onto His promises of love and protection.

My heart clung to His promises of hope and peace.

Finally I made it out to the main street in front of our house

where there were some tracks of a vehicle that had gone through.

I laughed and spoke adventure to my child

all the while deliberately walking as quickly as I could

to get to my parents home.

Freezing winds blew and I pulled my scarf tightly around her body.

Icy tears trickled down our cheeks

but I kept on plowing through the deep snow.

Darkness shall flee at His command

All through the day and night we’re in His hand.

Minutes seemed like hours

but the reminders of His Presence strengthened me.

Finally I saw their home in the distance

and my heart lifted with thanks.

Coldness replaced with warmth

hugs and appreciation for their wood stove.

All the whilenoellie-8 deep inside a memory of walking down a snow blanketed road

holding my daughter

and singing.

An adventure

And though its been many a year since that snowy night

I find myself encouraged remembering His faithfulness.

My daughter?

Yes, she remembers it all too.


– All Through The Day by Ernie Rettino and Debby Rettino