Monthly Archives: March 2012

Dealing With Doubts


Life is filled with difficult places. Tough decisions. Hard calls.

It is then that we often find ourselves tossed back and forth. Grappling with choices.

Overcome by unrelenting fear.

Years ago when I was in the midst of my second adoption I found myself going back and forth with decisions.  My initial choice to adopt a second child came after lots of prayer. But once the ball got rolling, that’s when the challenges grew.

What country? Where? How?

After a failed adoption in UkraineI found myself once more looking into adopting in Russia.

Yes, I said, when asked about a little girl.

Yes, my heart leaped from where I was to where she was.

But then I received more information about her. Health concerns.

Weighed 1 ½ pounds at birth? Why that would be difficult if she had been born her in the states?

What was I getting myself into?

Doubts screamed. Do you know what you are doing?

Foolishness. People shook their heads when they heard.

My heart was big. No doubt about that. But I already was stretched single parenting one child.

As I think back to that time of wrestling I realize how much I would have missed if I had decided quickly to either stop the adoption process or choose another child.

Instead I embraced those doubts for what they were. Doubts. Not reality.

With my heart turned towards God knowing that He would strengthen me to handle whatever problems she had, I walked forward. Knees knocking.

Today at 12, Jenny not only is in perfect health but she blesses us with her sweet ways.

I remember the words of an old preacher “Never doubt in the dark what God has shown you in the light.” (V Raymond Edman)

So true.

Listen to those doubts.

Move forward in faith.

A Season Is Not Forever

Every morning I woke to his song. Yes, even when my bedroom was still cloaked in darkness my canary sang good morning greetings. And I loved it.

He chirped around from morning to night cheerfully content with his life. As a result my life was happier just having this great songster to share it with.

But one day it all changed.

My canary hurt his leg. His song suddenly ceased. I watched with horror as it turned black and eventually fell off. And although I fed him bits of banana and apple he sat glum and sad on the bottom perch  of his cage.

Day after day my girls and I prayed for dear Sonny.

The absence of his song left a huge emptiness in our home.

So we turned on our favorite music, put on tapes of canary music. We sang and talked to him assuring him of our love. No matter what.

What difference did it make that he now had one leg? We only loved him more.

Then one day it happened. Yes, the miracle we had been waiting for came.

Our little yellow beloved bundle of feather began to chirp. A note here. Another one there until he began to string them together.

“Listen. Sonny’s singing.” We laughed with gladness and danced with joy.

Thank you, Lord. Thank you for restoring our precious canary.

It’s now been 2 years since that time and Sonny still fills our lives with song. As I listened to him this morning I thought of all those who no longer can do what they are used to doing.

No, for them is the life of sitting and waiting. And that’s not an easy thing to do.

No races to run. No joyful spinning from one thing to another.

No, for a season, our good Lord has allowed them to be still and rest in His Goodness.

If that happens to be you or someone you know, remember that today-the season of stillness-does not mean forever. Instead it’s a time to allow His Healing and Love to work

deep within.

It’s a time to experience Grace in all its richness. To revel in His Love and Care.

There will be a time of song in the future. Never fear that.

His plans for you are good.

And those who know you will wait knowing that the time of activity and song will come again for you.

A season is not forever.

Beware Those Blind Spots!

She drove down the road thinking about her busy day at school. And even though the radio was playing her favorite song, she never heard it. No, instead she was replaying an incident that happened with her first graders that afternoon.

As she approached the intersect her thoughts turned to the words of the parent who had appeared early to pick up her child.

“A divorce,” she sighed. “She will be devastated when she hears about it.” She thought of the frail little girl.

She hurriedly glanced in the direction of the on-coming traffic and seeing there was room drove forward.

Suddenly she heard the sound of a blaring horn, put on her brakes and looked back just as another car pass her. An angry driver melted her with that ‘look’.

How foolish of me, she muttered to herself trying to calm her now shaking body.

I looked.

I really looked but…

    I didn’t see.

We’ve all been there one time or another.

Blind spots are part of being human.

It is all too easy to look but not see what actually exists.

Over the years I have learned not to trust that first look. No, I glance twice just to be sure.

But there are potential blind spots in other areas of our lives.

It pays to ask ourselves from time to time “Could something be there that I am missing?”

“What am I not seeing?”

To pray, “Lord, open my eyes and help me to see.”

Yes, let’s beware those blind spots.

A blind spots prevents you from seeing what is actually there. Then based on that faulty knowledge we make decisions that lead to actions.

Yes, we all have them from time to time.

So what can you do? Consider the following steps:

  1. Stay close to the Lord of all wisdom through prayer and reading of the Word.
  2. Stay accountable to a few trusted people who know you and are willing to mention any blind spot they might see in your life.
  3. Allow the awareness of blind spots to spur you on to reflect on your own life.

Could it be there is something you are not seeing that you need to?

Join me today in giving some thought to blind spots and let’s move toward clearer vision in the days ahead.