Back in the states the days dragged
as I waited to hear the dates for my return to Russia.
This was one of a number of things that was different on this second adoption.
But slowly the time moved forward.
I prayed and wondered knowing full well that not every adoption goes through.
Would I finally be able to return for Jenny?
But about the third week in January I received my invitation to complete the adoption.
Between making arrangements for my oldest to stay behind,
getting airline tickets and working out details for my brother-in-law to go with me,
time passed quickly.
I remember those moments of packing my suitcase.
At the last minute I packed a pair of small pink shoes-
shoes that I had purchased in Kiev a few years earlier-
shoes that held so much promise and joy
that suddenly ended in a failed adoption.
Holding those shoes for a long second, I wondered.
Would they possibly fit my soon to be adopted Russian princess?
How strange that would be I thought as I placed them in the suitcase
and zipped it closed.
But hearts don’t easily close, do they?
No at least not mine.
The previous unexpected loss had taught me many things
among which was to hold all things loosely
and with a prayer to do that I grabbed my bags and walked out of the room.
I held my daughter extra long that day as I prepared to leave for one more trip.
All too soon I was thousands of miles above in the skies
on my way to Russia.
I love the country, the birthplace of my daughters.
The people I stayed with and met were always friendly and kind.
But it was far away and I longed to come home
this time with a toddler in my arms.
We arrived in Moscow right on time,
made it through security and we soon were on our way to Kostroma.
Snow covered the land and I marveled at the beauty as we rode along.
Many hours later we arrived at the hotel where we stayed for a few nights.
Looking back the details of each day have faded
but one shines brightly among the fog.
The day I stepped back into the orphanage
and I lifted my eyes and saw Jenny.
Sweet and small.
Shyly glancing down at the floor to then suddenly look up and meet my eyes.
Did she recognize me? There was no indication of that.
All that mattered was that she was there and that we were together.
We spent a few hours each day playing and sipping tea.
And then one day I reached for those pink shoes buried deep in my suitcase
and put them in my bag to take to the orphanage.
She sat that day on the carpeted floor while I took off her brown shoes
and watched with interest as I put first one shoe
and then the other one
on her feet.
She looked up at me with the slightest smile
as if she knew
that they were for her. She stood to her feet and walked around the room.
A perfect fit.
Yes, bought two years earlier in another country
and kept to remember that time
They now fit those little feet like they were made for her.
How marvelous that our Lord cares about all the details.
Nothing is too small for Him.
Shoes that I had previously wept over
were now the shoes that I rejoiced over.
Our God Who knows all our disappointments and unanswered questions
Who knows our heartbreaks and painful losses
heals each one in His time.
He continues to make all things beautiful in His Time.
Has He done that for you?
Do you know this God of Love Who cares deeply for you?
Soon I would be walking out of the orphanage with my precious sweet daughter
but first there was the court date.
That had a twist of humor all its own.