Tag Archives: surrender

Sleeping Dolls, Silent Dreams

Twenty six years ago these words were penned. My heart overflowed with longing and pain.

May these words somehow comfort the heart of some woman today

who, too, longs and waits. He knows your heart. He cares.mother's day sleeping dolls, silent tears

 

A few months ago, I was cleaning in the attic

and came upon a big, old box tightly sealed, covered with dust, unmarked.

Wondering what was in it, I ran for the scissors and cut the tape.

As I opened the lid and saw what was inside

my heart twisted in sudden pain.

There lay my beloved dolls, my childhood playmates, sleeping.

Tenderly I lifted the large baby dolls- the one with soft brown curls and deep blue eyes.

I gently held her in my arms.

Her eyes were closed –

that peaceful smile still on her face.

As I held her, smoothing the little gingham dress and touching the knitted booties

My mind drifted back to days of long ago.

I had always loved playing with dolls.

And while I dressed them, fed them, and rocked them,

I dreamed about the day when I would hold my very own child.

My own flesh.

I wanted a house full of children, laughter and giggles.

But

the years have come and gone – and today

Those dreams seem further from reality than ever before.

It hurts.

The longing is so deep.

As I rose to lay my sleeping doll back in the box,

Tears trickled silently down my cheeks.

“Oh Father, You know how deeply I long;

How many times I’ve asked, Father. You know that I’m getting older.

Someday it will be too late.

“Daughter of Mine,” I heard Him whisper,

“do you really trust Me with all your dearest dreams,

with all your deepest longings?

My plans for you are the best. Just wait. You’ll see.

Now….feed My sheep.”

I closed the lid to my silent dreams and arose to serve my Lord—

grateful that He knows what is best.

 

The Great Big YES

Many have written about the word they have chosen for 2017

but no word reached out and grabbed me. Nothing.

Not until —–

I was pondering one evening about many things

and talking with my daughters about life and various things.

When suddenly it came. That word. Just spring into my head and out of my mouth.

“Yes.”

“I want to say a great big yes to what is most important

so that I can say no to all else”

Even as I said it, I felt the tears pressing behind my eyes.

Recently the sudden death of a close friend and colleague

left me thrown off balance and groping to regain stability. Life is short.

My mind wandered back to years ago when I first met the yes challenge.

Will you surrender your all to the One Who gave His all?

Chills went up and down my body as I wrestled with His Call

and for agelong moments I wrestled with surrendering my life. I was so young.

Fear, my constant companion, growing up whispered words that frightened.

What if..What if….What if…

I’ll never forget that moment when I cast my all, my one, simple, ordinary life,

into His care.

That was the beginning  for me of the greatest adventure.

Opportunities have come to do things I would certainly never have taken earlier in my life.

Chances to go places and do things.

People to meet. Careers to enjoy.

Two very old orphanages in Russia hold my heart although its been years since I’ve been there.

The hurts of wounded people touch my heart;

the longings of frustrated people

and empty souls always tug hard

and draw me to give and go and serve.

That great big YES led to a daily Yes

in which I know my life is not my own.

It’s His.

All other decisions bend their knee to Him.

I find that saying no has gradually become easier

with the main thing already decided.

I am excited about this word for 2017. YES

Yes, to His Will.

Yes, to whatever He calls. Wherever He leads.

YES. He is the loving Shepherd Who cares for His sheep

so much better than they could ever care for themselves.

Yes, to surprises and unexpecteds.

Yes, to disappointments and sorrows.

Yes, to His Purpose and Plan.

Somehow it all begins to look easier now. The confusion and clamor quiets

and the day begins to dawn.

Peace.

Won’t you join me in saying Yes too?

It takes a lot of the hard out of living because it’s not up to me.

No, the journey is His Plan and I like it that way.

How about you?

 

You’ll never be disappointed.

Maybe it’s time to just say YES.

 

bleeding-heart-april-5

Shining Moments

Be it unto me according to Thy Word. Luke 1:38

Each year I read again the Christmas story

and am gripped by these words.

Simple words.

Strong words.

Words of a trusting heart.

Where did Mary learn to trust her God

so completely?

How did these words flow immediately

from her mouth

upon hearing the amazing news

that she would become the mother of Jesus?

When did this heart of surrender become birthed within her?

I will never know

but this I do know.

Her example of a life surrendered to the will of the Father

is what I long to have.

Moment by moment

step by step

seeking to follow His Him in everything.

Today it is all too common

to question

to debate the pros and cons

to text a friend first

or even take a poll.

Where is the life of quiet trust in Him?

Trusting that when He calls us

He will supply our every need.

Awesome  to think about

Walking on Holy ground as we reflect.

Our human reaction is more often than not fear

and doubt and a desire to protect ourselves from harm.

But Mary’s heart received the news with humility and faith.

And with it

she received His Strength and Grace and Peace overflowing.

Did you ever sense a call to do something

but at the time

you were afraid so you never did it?

Maybe it’s time to go back to that place

to confess your disobedience and then to do what He called you to do.

His callings are always His enablings.

Mary found the Lord to be faithful in even the smallest details.

You will find Him to be faithful too.

Have no fear.

His Word declares that He is your great I Am.

You have not even begun to see all that the Lord longs to do in and through you.