Tag Archives: prayer

In The Waiting Room

It’s been one of those times lately

when I’m aware that I’m on hold in the waiting room of life.

I’ve prayed and prayed and prayed

and there seems to be no answer.

Day after day. Night after night. No seeming change.

“God is faithful,” I say again. And down deep in my heart I know that it is true.

But this narrow waiting room is tough.

It traps me.

I can’t go forward – can’t make a decision-

until I know.

Alone I remind myself of the truth –

God’s silence is how it feels, it is not how it is.

No, He is here. He is with me and He knows.

But I struggle humanly wanting to cut short the process and fast forward life.

When stuck in the desert I must remember the Truth.

He is here.  He is with me. He is with you. Always.

Years ago I struggled with a decision

One that would change the rest of my life.

I longed for God’s Will.

I hungered for Him to just tell me.

But day after day there was only silence

and night after night the same.

As frequently happens on planet earth

Time was running out.

I needed to make a decision.

Would I adopt a second child

or would I continue on to get my PhD in Family Studies?

It was easier to just go ahead with the academic work.

I had already been accepted into the doctoral program.

But

there was this nagging uncertainty and lack of peace.

A little girl needed me.  I thought I sensed that crazy thought.

I know it was ridiculous.

Why look at my age –  and I had long since given away all my little baby girl things.

But the noise within me and without grew with the passing of time.

God, where are you? I cried.

Quite suddenly I decided to get away for a few days –

to get away from work and daily responsibilities and all the normal routines.

I took my young daughter out of school

and started driving to the beach.

Mile after mile I drove all the way pondering the life changing choice before me.

Day after day I walked the beach in the early morning hours.

Day after day.

One step on the sand at a time.

Listening. Asking but mostly being still. Sea air blowing my hair moments.

I saw no visions,

heard no voices,

no fireworks or writing in the sky.

Simply peace.

And that growing desire to do what He wanted me to do.

Yes, Lord, I cried out into the silence while the tears trickled down my face.

Yes, Lord. I say yes.

With that it was as if everything was set into motion.

Another adoption was begun

that eventually ended in my going back to Russia.

I walked out of the waiting room and into the wild, crazy ride of an international adoption.

I faced challenges and was stretched in many ways

But I knew that He with me.

During those early morning walks on the beach I had sensed His Peace,

and that stayed with me

reminding me that when He calls me to do something much bigger than I

He is with me. I do not need to be afraid.

Silence never means you are alone. That is how it feels.

But that same silence only says He is very present

and at the right time

He will reveal the next step

Are you in the waiting room right now?

Do you feel the pressure of needing to know?

Rest in Him. He satisfies the need of every trusting heart.

May our waiting room experiences be transformed into worship.

And with that we both can receive His peace.

 

 

 

When The Answer Doesn’t Come

A few months ago I was in desperate need of a car

so I prayed.

Specifically.

No doubt about it. A white Nissan Altima.

Finding a car for a short person is not always easy

and I knew that a Nissan Altima would work fine.

Why white? It was just my preference.

So I prayed for a white, used Nissan Altima with low mileage.

Yes, it had to be used for my pocketbook.

I looked and looked and looked

but one day led to another

and there was simply no used white Nissan Altima to be found.

In the meantime my Grand Prix was leaking

so that every rain led to wet floors in my car.

Yes, lay down the towels and dry out the wet ones time.

My car struggled to go up any hill and made some very strange noises.

Pray. Pray some more.

My closest friends joined us in prayer and in the search.

Every day I scanned the car listings

but still nothing remotely close to my request came available.

I knew His Promise.

 Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians3:20

 

  He is able.

  I am in need.

  Day after day I prayed and searched for a car.

  One day I went into a used car dealership that

      listed their service to help you find a car.

  I walked over to this big desk and sat down

     while a man looked at me seriously.

Please sir,

   can you help me find this car?

   He took notes on my request and price range.

  And agreed to get back in touch with me.

But once more day after day went by

   and I heard nothing.

  The day the transmission began to go

   on my Grand Prix

  I became nervous.

Lord, you have heard my cry.

Lord, you know.

    You know how much we need a car.

I prayed again spreading it all before Him,

   knowing His heart of Love

   knowing His promise to trust Him

   knowing His Will, my peace.

I went back to the used car dealership

  wondering if they possibly had some leads.

I’ll never forget that day

   as the two men smiled at me and suggested a van.

 The looks on their faces left no doubt.

They thought my search was in vain. I needed to expand my options.

As I left the shop that afternoon

   I wondered within myself.

Was anything too hard for God?

Was I asking in vain?

Deep within I was open to receive His Will

   Whatever that might be but I sensed that I was right to wait and pray.

  I sensed the call was to trust Him

   although I could see nothing.

And so I did.

Matthew 7: 7-11: Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. 

 I no longer could safely drive wherever I wanted to go.

He is Lord of the wait.

I kept changing those wet towels after every rain.

He is Lord of the difficult days.

I had no other place to look

   But that didn’t limit His Ability.

 One day a few weeks later

         completely out of the blue

  I got a call telling me of a used car 5 miles from my house.

 My heart beat rapidly as I checked to see if it was available.

It not only was

   but it was just the right price,

    and a used Nissan Altima with low mileage

   in white.

Hallelujah!

His timing – my gift.

Never give up

   when the answer doesn’t come immediately.

Never give up

   when things just don’t work out.

Never give up.

Trust Him to answer your every need

  in His time

  and in His Way.

He cares about all of you.

Dogs, cars, children, bills, health, marriage/divorce,

   elderly parents, college,

   babies, vacations,

   and most of all your heart.

Never give up!

 

 

 

just because

Who me? Worried?

I can still hear the jarring ring of that telephone as it broke through the quietness of an ordinary afternoon.

I can still hear my mother’s voice as she spoke.

And I can still hear the edge in her voice as she said those words,

“How is he?”

Yes, it’s been more than 50 years but I remember that day when my brother was kicked in the head by a horse like it was yesterday.

Fear suddenly wrapped its arms around my nine year old body and held me fast in it’s sickening hold.

My eleven year old brother had always loved horses and used to walk to his friend’s farm not too far from where we lived.

He’d often take an apple or two from home to feed to his favorite horse.

But one day

everything changed when the horse suddenly reared up

knocking my brother to the ground.

My parents quickly drove to the hospital where my brother had been taken.

I sat on my bed in my pink bedroom

and did the only thing I knew to do.

I prayed.

In simple words with tears streaming down my face

I prayed and prayed that my brother would be alright.

That night well past dark my parents came home.

The doctors had stitched up my brothers cheek and gave a good report.

He was lucky, they said.

Even at nine, I knew that it was more than luck.

God had heard my prayer.

My brother was going to be ok.

I dropped off to sleep that evening whispering words of thanks.

It was a time that my family and I drew close together

realizing what might have been.

Life is filled with unexpected moments.

We wonder why some escape without injury and others lose their lives.

This side of heaven we will never understand

but God knows all

and we can trust Him.

It is all too easy to worry about everything

and become paralyzed with fear of what may happen

but that is not the essence of living.

Instead the call is to know God and to live each day

trusting His care and provision.

Corrie Ten Boom said “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.”

Let’s live each day strengthened by the One Who loves us and gave His Life for us

and let Him have all our unanswered questions and doubts.

My brother went on to accomplish many things in his lifetime

but he always kept his distance from the horses.

I gradually learned to pray about everything

and most of all

to trust.

Do you find yourself worried at times

imagining the worse?

Cast all your anxieties and worries on Him.

He will carry you through everything.

 

1 Peter 5:7 casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

birthday roses