Tag Archives: orphans

Those Left Behind

It seems like yesterday that I traveled home with my youngest daughter.

From time to time as we flew high above the earth

I glanced at her.

Tiny little two year old. Dimpled darling with deep, penetrating eyes.

And I wondered.

How would I manage to parent two daughters

along with having a counseling practice?

But when the fears loomed

my thoughts went back to my many prayers.

That long walk on the beach

seeking God’s Will…

Wanting to be sure.

From the beginning her adoption was difficult.

A failed adoption in Ukraine.

House arrest.

Fears galore.

Endless visits to orphanages.

Seeking.

Praying.

Quietly wondering.

Then arriving in Russia and seeing her for the first time.

Moments that I cherish in my heart.

So small. So serious. Soooooo …..to this day there are no words.

Suddenly having to leave her without an explanation

that I would be back.

Yes I would be back.

Asking to go to a store to purchase a stuffed bear

and running up the orphanage steps, opening the heavy doors,

and giving it to the orphanage worker.

“Please, please give this to her,” Tears filled my eyes.

“Tell her I will be back.” It was so important that she knew.

The worker nodded and I turned to leave.

A question remained in my heart.

Would she possibly remember to tell my little one.

How would I ever know?

But leave I must.

With a heavy heart I walked out that day

And was driven away.

So long ago.

So long ago.

A lump grow in my throat whenever I begin to think

To remember the journey of bringing  her home.

Love keeps giving and giving and giving.

Love seeks – pursues- wanting the best for the one loved.

But today as I pause to remember

my heart is turned to the ones I left.

Behind those orphanage doors I had to leave so many children.

Before I traveled and saw the need my heart was at peace.

But now I know the truth.

There are millions of orphaned children around the world.

Millions.

Lord, free me from indifference and help do what I can with what I have.

My heart easily stretches around the world.

My heart aches to fill the overwhelming need

of children needing loving parents of their own.

Free me, Lord, from a desire to be comfortable while others

weep tears of loneliness and pain.

Yes,  it’s too easy to forget when you don’t see the need.

But I remember and still hear the cries of little children

who deserve their own parents.

Maybe you feel you don’t have what it takes.

I understand. Neither do I.

But God has an amazing way of helping us do what might seem impossible.

And He still does.

Yes, He does.

 

 

Shining Moments

 

Just suppose you could do more than you think you can…

Just suppose there was a plan for you to still climb mountains

and walk on waters

but

you did not know

because you did not believe.

Belief is key to all what we experience in life. Believe in the One and Only One.

I remember well sitting on the floor of my living room

spinning the globe and praying.

“Wherever you want me to go, Lord, I will go.”

No questions asked

I only wanted to be in His Will.

A few weeks later my paperwork was all ready for me to travel toGuatemala.

Adoptions were going smoothly there.

It should not be difficult to find a little girl who needed a mother.

I was excited as I prepared to travel.

But right before I was to go

there was a phone call from my adoption facilitator.

That evening she stopped by my home and showed me a picture that would change my life.

A precious little baby girl with big brown eyes.

I instantly fell in love.

“She’s inRussia,” I was told.

So immediately I worked to get all my adoption paperwork done forRussia.

Lots of work.

Hours of times

but it was all worth it.

That day that I held my little girl for the first time is engraved in my heart for always.

“Wherever you want me to go I will go, Lord.”

Once more I read those words and they speak a call to me.

Now unto Him who is able to do exceedingly abundant above all that we ask or think,

according to the power that worketh within us.” Ephesians 3:20

The desire within my heart twenty years ago

stirred my belief in the One Who always does more than we can ask or think.

But just suppose I hadn’t stepped out in faith?

Just suppose I hadn’t done that work so that it would become a reality?

Jesus is the same

yesterday, today and forever.

He doesn’t change.

The One Who continues to lead me to trust Him when I cannot see

still whispers of needs.

The Light within continues to press upon my heart

that there is more, always more.

Where will that lead?

I am not sure.   But one thing I know….

He is faithful and true.

There’s a song deep in my heart that sings of His Love and Power.

God’s heart beats passionately for the poor, the widows, orphans,

the downcast, the sick, the weak.

Does mine?

So, just suppose you really could walk on water

because you can because of His Power within

what would you do?

Not everyone is called to adopt.

Not everyone is called to go.

But right there where you live

what would you do

in His Name?

Let’s stretch our hearts in faith together.

Will you join me?

 

Shining Moments

It’s been many, many years but the memory is forever etched in my heart.

I was in Ukraine at the time

trying to adopt my second child.

Although moved deeply by the beautiful people

and the sight in Kiev

my heart was heavy with longing to make the adoption happen.

Sunday came

and my friend and I decided to go to church.

We didn’t have far to walk from our flat in the city.

Down the elevator

out the door

and a couple of blocks through the city

until we came to the outside of the church.

It was cool that day in early April.

The flowers were blooming and although I sorely missed

my eight year old daughter back in the states

I was excited about attending church in Kiev.

But as we walked towards the door of this huge church

all of a sudden we were surrounded by a group of small children

of different shapes and sizes.

For a minute I didn’t know what was happening as they pressed in close to us.

Precious children with big brown eyes and open hands.

Talking with words I  could not understand.

My friend and I immediately knew…..

In a sweeping glance I took in their thin clothing and bare feet.

A few shivered in the cool air.

“What do we do?”

I had only a few coins on me. Certainly nothing like what they needed.

Hungry faces pressed closer as we deliberated what to do.

I reached in my purse and brought out all that I had

only a few coins

and dropped them in their small hands

all the while choking back my tears.

So little

and such a great need.

A few minutes later my friend and I were sitting in a pew in this huge church

singing a song

but my heart was still outside with those small children

shivering in the morning breeze.

Feelings of great helplessness in face of such need

fueled my worship and gave meaning  to my prayers.

And to this day so many years later

I still can see those outstretched hands and big brown eyes.

My heart breaks for these children who live in such poverty and pain

day after day.

She did what she could. (Mark 14:8)

Yes, although what I have seems so very small and insignificant in face

of the needs in our world

I will do what I can.

One day at a time

one person at a time.

And then as if from afar I hear those old familiar words from the beloved hymn

“When I Survey The Wondrous Cross”

Were the whole realm of nature mine

    That were a present far too small

    Love so amazing. Love so divine.

   Demands my soul, my life, my all.

 

Wherever we see the need

no matter how great  it be

let’s do what we can..

For each person doing what they can

will make a greater difference than we can possibly imagine.

Yes, I carry that moment, that shining moment in my heart

when I gave what I could.