Tag Archives: faith

Those Left Behind

It seems like yesterday that I traveled home with my youngest daughter.

From time to time as we flew high above the earth

I glanced at her.

Tiny little two year old. Dimpled darling with deep, penetrating eyes.

And I wondered.

How would I manage to parent two daughters

along with having a counseling practice?

But when the fears loomed

my thoughts went back to my many prayers.

That long walk on the beach

seeking God’s Will…

Wanting to be sure.

From the beginning her adoption was difficult.

A failed adoption in Ukraine.

House arrest.

Fears galore.

Endless visits to orphanages.

Seeking.

Praying.

Quietly wondering.

Then arriving in Russia and seeing her for the first time.

Moments that I cherish in my heart.

So small. So serious. Soooooo …..to this day there are no words.

Suddenly having to leave her without an explanation

that I would be back.

Yes I would be back.

Asking to go to a store to purchase a stuffed bear

and running up the orphanage steps, opening the heavy doors,

and giving it to the orphanage worker.

“Please, please give this to her,” Tears filled my eyes.

“Tell her I will be back.” It was so important that she knew.

The worker nodded and I turned to leave.

A question remained in my heart.

Would she possibly remember to tell my little one.

How would I ever know?

But leave I must.

With a heavy heart I walked out that day

And was driven away.

So long ago.

So long ago.

A lump grow in my throat whenever I begin to think

To remember the journey of bringing  her home.

Love keeps giving and giving and giving.

Love seeks – pursues- wanting the best for the one loved.

But today as I pause to remember

my heart is turned to the ones I left.

Behind those orphanage doors I had to leave so many children.

Before I traveled and saw the need my heart was at peace.

But now I know the truth.

There are millions of orphaned children around the world.

Millions.

Lord, free me from indifference and help do what I can with what I have.

My heart easily stretches around the world.

My heart aches to fill the overwhelming need

of children needing loving parents of their own.

Free me, Lord, from a desire to be comfortable while others

weep tears of loneliness and pain.

Yes,  it’s too easy to forget when you don’t see the need.

But I remember and still hear the cries of little children

who deserve their own parents.

Maybe you feel you don’t have what it takes.

I understand. Neither do I.

But God has an amazing way of helping us do what might seem impossible.

And He still does.

Yes, He does.

 

 

The Trap That Gets You Every Time

It can paralyze you in minutes.

It can render you helpless, weak and confused.

It can steal the good and leave you with bad.

What am I talking about?

Worrying about what others are thinking.

I’ve been there and quite honestly

 I still need to deal with this at times.

It doesn’t matter what we do….

   or what we say…..

someone might criticize us.

That’s just life on planet earth.

Growing up many, many years ago I tended to be shy

and fearful.

I scrutinized the faces of people- family members, teachers, acquaintances etc

trying to see if they approved of me. What they were thinking.

Round and round my thoughts would go.

Always worried. Always uneasy. Always wrong in my thinking.

Because the truth is

   God knows us deeply – through and through –

Only He is worthy of our trust and adoration.

Only He knows us well enough.

People have their own issues. 

They struggle with their own insecurities but as long as

we put our confidence in them and how they see us

we will always be weak and confused.

Yes, it’s a futile battle, isn’t it?

But as we learn to live for the applause of One

 we will experience a peace that does pass understanding.

We can learn from the comments of others but live our lives for His approval.

Refuse to worry about the thoughts of others.

Stand tall. Stoop low as you serve. And give thanks for all.

So are you looking for ways to build more peace in your life?

Here it is.

Stop worrying about what others are thinking.

 And, I, for one, need the Lord to help me do this.

“The greatest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think.”

Proverbs 29:25 It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord, you are safe.

 

 

 

Come Fly With Me, Won’t You?

When I was a child I used to want to fly.

So much.

Sometimes I would even jump off my bed longing to fly

when no one was looking.

But every time I painfully hit the ground awakening to the fact that

that I didn’t have the ability to fly.

I’d watch the birds with perfect faith wing their way to skies overhead.

I even remember going to the huge airport in Kansas City at eight or nine

 and watching the big planes take off and land.

Deep within me was a hunger for higher.

For more than walking on land.

 Then there was the time I boarded a gigantic plane to fly to Russia

on a mission to adopt my baby girl.

High above the clouds we flew that night-

for it was in the black of the night that that plane took off.

Above all the ‘how in the world are you’ questions..

Above my own fears and doubts.

Yes, there way up high I surrendered my fears to the Lord.

Whatever your Will is, Lord. I accept it. Your Will; not mine.

And with that unspoken surrender there was peace.

An amazing peace.

Yes, He has always provided.

Has always made a way where there seems to be no way.

Teaching me to wing my prayers to Him

And to receive the answers.

Rising above the earthly weights that can all too easily ground us.

You know – ‘You just can’t do it’.

‘Give up’. ‘It won’t work’.

‘Never. Never’. ‘It’s just not been done that way before’.

Weights that limit our imagination

And destroy faith that soars high.

Today I wandered by the old playground.

The one where my daughters used to laugh and play

and swing high to the moon and back.

My eyes fell on the childhood plane.

The one that they used to ride high into the sky

 and fly to Maine or Florida or China.

It’s looking older these days but still there for children to fly.

I thought to myself “You too can still fly.”

“Yes, you can.”    And then I had a little conversation with myself.

“Where would you like to go?” I wondered.

I have no idea but deep within is still that longing to fly high-

To soar above the clouds.

To do what might even seem impossible to others

Because God loves to do what seems impossible to us.

Yes, He still calls us to soar high with Him.

To use those wings of faith and pray prayers that move mountains.

He whispers that more things are possible than we can even imagine.

Much more.

So lets stir our faith and blow that dust off those dreams.

And let’s open our hearts to possibilities.

What would you do if you could do it?

Think long and hard. Let that thought stay with you for awhile.

And so will I.

Let’s keep flying, my friends.

For the Lord of life loves to lift us out of the here and now,

ordinary living

and breathe new ideas, fresh dreams within us.

Listen and follow.

You can trust Him to lead you safely.

 

God, my shepherd!
    I don’t need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
    you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
    you let me catch my breath
    and send me in the right direction. Ps. 23:2 Message