Tag Archives: disappointment

When I Can’t Do More

019As I glanced at the Market Guide resting on the bookcase

my heart did a sad flip.

Right, my dreams to write – my goals to finish that book –

all placed on hold for I have no idea how long.

Tears press behind my eyes as I realize that unless something changes

I won’t be writing very much for a while.

Life has intruded and with it the needs of others take center stage.

I have all that I can do to parent two special girls and work full time

along with caregiving and a zillion other things.

Writing? Well it’s become more a memory of my past then a present occupation.

It’s not the way I want things to be.

It’s not how I anticipated it.

But

there it is

and nothing much I can do about it.

In snippets of time I write a blog or a bit of verse to encourage another

but that’s not the kind of writing I was looking forward to doing.

No, this was going to be the year.

You  know – the year of finally completing that work in progress.

Demands on my time

and drains on my limited energy

trap be in a web that hinders me in doing what my heart, my very soul, longs to do.

Usually I can look ahead to another time in the year

and be encouraged.

But not this time.  No, the time is completely in my Father’s Hands.

So what do you do

when you must be content with limits on your writing?

How do you handle it when the timing you had planned

falls through and you are left faithfully doing other things

labors of love

acts of simple service?

For me, the only thing I know to do

Is to trust.

Yes, to trust the One Who planted within me the desire to write.

To trust His timing when the realization creeps in

that I might never be able to finish what I had set out to do.

Surrender

bathed in salty tears

washes my heart from its own plans

and cleanses my soul to serve in the moment with joy.

So, if for now, my biggest writing

is a simple encouraging comment on another’s Facebook post or blog

or a little note of love and care

that will be enough.

I exchange my time for His Time

and in the doing discover peace.

It’s always that way, isn’t it?

Shining Moments

As I checked in at the hotel that day

my thoughts were centered on all the fun my girls and I would have.

Swimming, movies, delicious breakfast, and on and on.

Never would I have dreamed

that it would end in disappointment with us going back home again

that very day.

Why this was a trip that we had planned long in advance.

Every year we go overnight to a nice hotel right after Christmas.

It’s something we talk about long before it happens.

The pool,

the comfortable big beds,

the sheer joy of being away from home.

This year was no exception.

We packed our bags with anticipation

making sure to take a favorite movie or two

and some chocolate.

At the front desk they handed me the key

and we walked

practically skipped to our room.

Unloaded our belongings

and got all settled in.

Pillows fluffed and swimsuits ready.

Suddenly the electricity went off.

For a few minutes we sat in the dark room

waiting

hoping

for the it to come back on.

But it didn’t.

Restlessness grew and with it the unspoken questions.

I went back up the darkened hall to the front desk.

“Excuse me, do you have any idea what the problem is?

How long?”  my voice faded seeing her shaking head.

“No, I have no idea,” she answered. “Could be LONG.”

No idea, I thought. We are here for just overnight

and do we really want to spend it looking at each other in the dark?

Sadly we decided to return home and have our overnight another time.

Disappointments are part of life.

Things happen.

Cars break down

Electricity goes off.

Illness

An unexpected crises.

Sometimes there is simply no way that you could have been prepared.

The key is how look at the disappointment.

Do we kick the wall with anger?

Do we take it out on another?

Or do we blame ourselves?

There is a quote that hangs by my computer

that encourages me through the changes of life.

“A contented mind is the greatest blessing a man can enjoy in this world.”

Yes, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5,6

Words of peace and contentment. Words of truth and  promise.

We plan and plan

we set our sails in a certain direction

but God controls the winds.

So let’s live life with an open hand

ready to receive or have taken away whatever He allows.

Always lifting our voices high with songs of rejoicing.

How about it?

Our Hope is forever secure in His Will not ours.

 

Be Careful Where You Look

No matter how old I get the truth still remains. Man will let us down. But God will never, never fail us. He loves with an everlasting love and what He says He will do.

As a young girl I looked up to a teacher until I learned that there was a hidden side. Although he left his teaching position, the disappointment within my heart remained.

But teachers are human.

Throughout my growing years I would all too easily trust people only to discover that hidden side.

The girl that cut her teeth on romances and ‘happily ever after’ grew up.

Slowly I learned that I could not look to people for security or perfection.

 

No, only God is perfect.

Yes, there are some people who have a deep level of integrity. There are some that are trustworthy and kind. I long to be a woman who others can trust.

One who is true to her Lord. And true to others.

I strive to be a mother that my girls can admire. To be real inside and out.

But I am simply a work in progress. I accept my humanness. I don’t want people looking at me.

Only to Jesus.

He is the One we can always trust.

So let’s not put others up on pedestals, no matter how special they might seem to be.

Let’s beware the danger of elevating one over another. No matter who that one might be.

And let’s guard against putting ourselves up on a pedestal too.

No, that pedestal is for One only.

Jesus.

Our Hero.

And we…..

Well, the ground at the foot of the cross is level. We are all sinners needing a Savior.

As we turn our eyes toward Him two days after Easter may the things of this world fade from view in the light of His Glory and Grace.

All glory to God.