Tag Archives: choice

The Choice

As I gazed out on the busy street in Kiev, my tears flowed freely.

My journey to adopt a little girl had come to a crushing end leaving me with empty arms and a broken heart.

“I’m beginning to learn,” I wrote in my journal that day “not to ask why. I will trust you no matter how much it hurts, Lord. I will trust you.”

I brushed away a few more tears and scribbled a few more words on the lined notebook paper.

“I know that you love me and that your plans for me are good.

I will trust you when I can’t see anything.”

That decision paved the way for me to not only move forward with my life

but also to receive peace in the midst of the pain of disappointment.

Two years later I adopted a precious little girl from Russia and my heart was filled with praise.

But this is not a lesson one learns once for all. At least not for me.

Again I am dealing with the pain of disappointment and brokenness.

About three months ago my daughters and I discussed the possibility of getting a Labrador retriever.

A vacation that would last one week

or a dog that would share our life for many years? We discussed it again and again.

What would it be?

We all agree that we wanted the dog.

So we gathered items together and sold them

always putting the money in the big jar with the red top.

It took time and a group effort but there was no doubt about it.

It was time to get a dog. Excitement grew.

I longed for an sweet lab that wanted to would curl up beside you

finding pleasure in just being close.

My youngest longed for a dog that she could play with

and my oldest who had begged for a dog for years

sought a special companion.

We were all on board.

I spent hours and hours searching breeders and asking questions.

Many more hours looking into rescues of which I was up to this point unfamiliar.

Finally the day came.

I saw a photo of a beautiful six month old female lab/hound and said yes.

Within days she was transported to a nearby city and I traveled  to get  her.

It was perfect

or so I thought.

Day after day we worked on puppy training and socializing the lab/hound

with our other dog. Long walks.

All was well. All was calm.

Nothing could have ever prepared me for that day

When suddenly  our dream  came crushing down with an attack that threatened

the life of not only my other dog but also that of my oldest daughter.

Within days the puppy was sent back and the wounds we had experienced began to heal.

What? No dog? My heart questioned.

After all that?

After all the selling and saving and selling some more…

After all the hopes and dreams and wonderful long walks…

After all the sweet doggy kisses and thinking it was all perfect

to suddenly experience

reality.

This was not the dog for us.

Hopes crumbling down as quickly as sandcastles fall.

Hearts shattered

and filled with pain. I do not understand.

But down deep inside there is always hope

and we wait.

Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” Harriet Beecher Stowe

The wait might very well take years but He is Lord of the wait as much as He is Lord of the Answer.

Broken hearts choose to trust Him

and to hold onto Who God is when things get messy.

His promises never fail and He is love.

There is a plan –

I just know it.

So as I brush away another tear

I remember His words of care,  2 Corinthians 4:16-18  So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

 

Trusting is a choice that does not depend upon feelings.

Trusting knows that He’s always working behind the scenes.

Trusting believes in His goodness, love and glory.

 

A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 

 

 

 

 

Gracie October 2014

The One Thing You Can Control

Years ago I read this powerful quote:

    “Two men looked out from prison bars, one saw the mud, the other saw the stars.”-Frederick Langbridge.

 

I am struck by its utter simplicity.

    By the powerful truth.

We all have that choice, don’t we?

What do we see when we look around?

Do we see glimpses of the holy?

   Or constant reminders of the fallen nature of man?

Do we see potential for good?

     Or do we see countless reminders of failure and hopelessness?

 

It’s a choice that we all must make.

Day after day. Hour after hour.

It is true that some personalities are more prone to see life as half full

    rather than half empty.

But still the choice is ours.

And how we choose makes a world of difference in what we not only see but what we continue to see.

 

This morning I went out for a nice run. It was a joy, not an every day routine for this single parent/homeschool teacher/professional.

Years ago I would have noted my time and run for the sheer pleasure of seeing how fast I could go.

But today my time is not that important.

The length that I go is not the main issue.

No, I only look to have joy in the run

    And today I did.

Birds were singing melodious praises

   And puffy white clouds dotted the brilliant blue morning sky.

I found myself listening and looking,

    Praising and pondering

      The gifts that surround me on every side.

By the time I came home my heart was full to overflowing.

Guess I will never be a serious runner

    But I glimpsed a touch of heaven in that run today

         And it will linger in my heart for a long time.

How about you?

What do you see all around you?

Stars or mud?

How about looking for the stars in the midst of the mundane and ordinary?

You were made to glorify and give praise.

Take some time today to look for the stars and to celebrate another day

  To live,

      To laugh,

         And to love.

And let me know what you experienced.

Have a glorious weekend, dear friends.

 

The Sun Always Shines

Yesterday was a beautiful day in Virginia. Sun shining. Flowers blooming. Warmer temperatures. Yes, it was definitely a take off your coat and throw open the windows day.

I expected another day like yesterday.

My plans were set. I even had in mind just what I would wear for the day.

But I awoke to the drip, drip, drip of rain.

Sigh.

By ten o’clock the heavens had opened and covered us with a ‘build your ark’ rain.

Changes had to be made.

From different clothes to be worn to another plan of activities.

Sigh.

When it is raining I like to think about the girl over on the West Coast who is basking in the sun. I remember the joys of flying and rising high above the clouds to where the sun was still shining. Just remembering that the sun shining brightly right at this very moment is an encouragement to me. An uplift as I run in and out of our home trying to dodge the pelting rain.

Changes of weather are part of life.

Change is part of life.

Yes, we all are creatures of habit. We like the same pews, the same foods, the same friends, etc same……

But like the sun that always shines, God is the only One Who never changes.

Yes, I oftentimes long to prevent change and draw my favorite things close to me like a mother holding onto her children. But I know my efforts are futile.

Change will come. Change is now.

Maybe it’s more important to think about ways to deal with change when it does come rather than trying so hard to stop it.

Every change that comes has a purpose in our lives if only to draw us closer to the One Who never changes.

‘Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not’. (Great is Thy Faithfulness)

Rainy days. Sunny ones. Spring. Summer. Fall and Winter.

His Love shines brightly drawing us to Himself.

Rest in His Unchanging Love today. He will never fail you.

Remember that precious truth when all around you is like rainy weather.

The sun always shines.