Tag Archives: change

House Arrest?

Her words caused my breathing to stop. For a moment.

How could it possibly be?

“You are under house arrest. You must stay inside and talk to no one,”

My thoughts raced in a million different directions.

What had I done?

Here I was thousands of miles from home.

I was in the process of completing an adoption

and suddenly this.

Instantly there was fear.

How long would it last?

What if? A million what ifs.

 There was no way to communicate with my family in the states.

No. There I was.

So what do you do when suddenly life changes

and the unexpected happens?

What do you do when you realize that you are helpless to change things?

“O Lord. I really need your help.”

I prayed and prayed.

Hours dragged by as I sat in the small room with only a narrow bed.

One minute at a time.

I never expected that my desire to adopt would lead to this.

Simple meals were brought to my door.

No words.

Then my worse thought  hit me.

Would I ever get out?

To see my little girl at home?

My parents?

Ugh, but I was seemingly helpless. No phone.

It was at a time of unrest in the world many years ago

and for me a time of awakening.

These things really do happen to ordinary people. Like you. Like me.

I just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time it seemed.

House arrest?

Me?

Well, after a few days I was released

and was flown out of that part of the country

and back to a safer city.

But I’ll never forget that scary experience.

While the world kept turning

I sat and prayed for release, for freedom.

And in His time

God made it possible for me to be safely released

to board a small, very old, rickety plane

and to fly. Just me and 3 other foreign men.

Hair-raising moments? Yes.

Today as I remember

I’m grateful beyond words

that I was released.

Quietly set free and flown out of that hot spot.

Grateful to once again experience God’s hand in the details of my life.

And while we experience all kinds of changes and unsettledness today

it’s reassuring to know

that God hears our prayers.

He knows exactly what is going on

where you live

and where I live.

He knows how trapped some people feel,

He knows how much we miss what we used to do.

Yes, He knows.

And even though we don’t understand everything

we can trust Him

with all of our moments.

He has us safely in His care.

We do not wait in vain.

Let’s just rest in His arms while we wait

knowing that we are not alone.

And nowhere could be safer

than in His tender care.

 

 

Can We Please Fast Forward This Change?

Have you ever wanted to fast forward through change

just to get it over with?

It often seems like the day to day change is almost more painful.

Years ago I changed careers.

After over twenty some years as a first grade teacher

I was moved by my awareness that my students were

getting older.

Married.

Raising children of their own.

They knew how to read and write but didn’t know how to have

a healthy relationship.

So I went back to school and studied hard

finally opening the doors to my private counseling practice.

I will never forget those days of waiting for the phone to ring.

Looking at an empty appointment book

Just longing for someone to call.

Change can be so hard.

Whereas in the past every year I was given a class of boys and girls

now I had to make my services known. And wait to serve.

I had to depend upon the Lord completely

and I sure did. But it was never easy.

Then there were the times I’d go to church or downtown

and someone would mention that I needed to be back in teaching,

or I had missed my true calling,

or imply that they knew best.

Sometimes I would try to respond graciously that I’m still a teacher.

Other times I’d just say something to get out of that situation.

But the truth was the change was hard for me as well as others.

We are more than what we do or where we live

Or our marital status

Or how many children we have.

Those all are aspects of our lives but life is filled with change.

Part of the transition is grieving our losses

and embracing the new.

Some of you reading this might be going through a transition right now.

Take time to grieve your losses

but also see the positives in today.

Praise the One Who is Lord of all of your life –

The past. The present. And the future.

Let Him lead you as you follow Him

through all the twists and turns of life.

Yes, through all the belly-flopping moments

where you wonder if you will ever be ok.

The Shepherd will provide for all of your needs

each step of the way.

Tenderly. Carefully. Ever so personally.

Lean upon Him and He will carry you through.

 

Psalm 23    The Lord IS my Shepherd

Sometimes It Hurts

Every change involves letting go of what has been

to embrace the new.

Now I don’t know about you but that’s sometimes been a process for me.

Letting go of the beautiful pink flowered bedroom in Kansas City

for the ugly yellow bedroom in Owego.

But it didn’t take me long to get it repainted.

Saying good bye to one career to start another.

Memories of that long walk down the school hall one day

a few years ago.

Lump in my throat. Tears stinging my eyes.

Alone.

The only sound – that of my high heels on the floor.

The end of a most enjoyable season of my life.

Yes.

Sigh.

To start building a small private counseling practice.

Something I had no background in.

But to do it I had to be all in.

Invested.

Committed to helping the people I served.

Letting go of the comfortable and familiar to embrace the strange and the new.

Every change involves letting go of what has been to take hold of the new.

Not easy.

Many times involving a season of grieving.

Although I had prayed and thought it through

the selling of my beloved white cape cod house

to move a long way away

was very difficult.

The actual time of signing the papers and pulling that door closed the last time

was painfully  hard.

But through it all God was there.

He smooths the rough places and gives strength to the weary.

He leads us gently from one place to the next.

From one season of life to another one.

There’s a time to let go

And a time to embrace.

  There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:..A right time to hold on and another to let go. Ecclesiastes 3:1,2 Msg

Like a child clinging to his favorite toy

I’ve sometimes been guilty of clinging tightly to what I’ve had and enjoyed

so tightly that it was hard to imagine ever feeling at peace again.

But the truth is I eventually was.

Each season has its own color, its own fragrance, its own song.

Let God have that cherish toy you are grasping to yourself

and trust Him to provide for your next season of life too

He will not fail you. He understands.

Every change involves letting go of what has been

to embrace the new.

Don’t miss the new because of fear of change.

Place your hand in His Big Loving Hand.

He is Faithful.