Twenty six years ago these words were penned. My heart overflowed with longing and pain.
May these words somehow comfort the heart of some woman today
who, too, longs and waits. He knows your heart. He cares.
A few months ago, I was cleaning in the attic
and came upon a big, old box tightly sealed, covered with dust, unmarked.
Wondering what was in it, I ran for the scissors and cut the tape.
As I opened the lid and saw what was inside
my heart twisted in sudden pain.
There lay my beloved dolls, my childhood playmates, sleeping.
Tenderly I lifted the large baby dolls- the one with soft brown curls and deep blue eyes.
I gently held her in my arms.
Her eyes were closed –
that peaceful smile still on her face.
As I held her, smoothing the little gingham dress and touching the knitted booties
My mind drifted back to days of long ago.
I had always loved playing with dolls.
And while I dressed them, fed them, and rocked them,
I dreamed about the day when I would hold my very own child.
My own flesh.
I wanted a house full of children, laughter and giggles.
the years have come and gone – and today
Those dreams seem further from reality than ever before.
The longing is so deep.
As I rose to lay my sleeping doll back in the box,
Tears trickled silently down my cheeks.
“Oh Father, You know how deeply I long;
How many times I’ve asked, Father. You know that I’m getting older.
Someday it will be too late.
“Daughter of Mine,” I heard Him whisper,
“do you really trust Me with all your dearest dreams,
with all your deepest longings?
My plans for you are the best. Just wait. You’ll see.
Now….feed My sheep.”
I closed the lid to my silent dreams and arose to serve my Lord—
grateful that He knows what is best.