Monthly Archives: May 2014

Waiting Is Never Easy

mommy and baby noelleFrom the time I was a very young girl I dreamt about being a mother.

Holding my own little freshly bathed and powdered baby.

Rocking her gently and singing her lullabies.

But although my longing was strong , I did not experience the joys of motherhood

until later in life.

Yes, one Mother’s Day after another passed

with me whispering another prayer of relinquishment

and asking for peace from the One Who loves me like none other.

I focused on showering my love on other mothers around me

and knowing that there are many ways to mother.

But it was not always easy.

Times of waiting never are.

But one day that all changed and I found myself holding the sweetest little girl in my arms.

Seven months old  of  loveliness and charm captivated my heart

and since that moment  I have walked that path of Motherhood.

My heart wanders back to moments of dancing with her in the night

Times when  I, a single parent, came  home from a long day of teaching and classes

and quietly tiptoed  up to her room.

I’d quietly step  to her crib and joy of joys, she’d lift her curly head to greet me.

Mommy was home. And she’d pull herself up and reach out her arms

And I’d scoop her into my longing ones.

Together we’d dance around her bedroom

enjoying

each other.

The high point of my day – being with her.

Blowing bubbles together

and hilarious moments of laughter.

Weary, up at night moments,

On my knees prayer times seeking wisdom and

Holding a sick child and praying for healing.

Double the joy when I was blessed to adopt again a tiny toddler from Russia.

Snuggle moments and tender moments

anxious moments, prayerful moments

that seem to pass too fast.

Yes, much too fast.

Today my girls are 21 and 14.

Where do those years go?

I wouldn’t trade anything for the joy I have had of being their mother.

But on this Mother’s Day my heart wanders easily to

those women who struggle with Mother’s Day for a number of reasons.

Longings unfulfilled

Broken hearts

Prodigal sons and daughters

Mothers  who are not with us anymore.

So much that can cause the heart to feel sadness at this time.

Always remember that He is the heart knower.

Yes, He knows all those longings and deep sorrows.

He knows and understands.

Reach out to your mother on this day if she is living

and hold your children close if you can.

Love is from God  and it shines forth from shore to shore for all of time and beyond

His Love beats with passion

for you, my friend.

Shining moments all over.

Never forget it!

 

What’s In Your Way?

spring flowers1There is something exciting about writing a new blog.

Burdens are temporarily lighter and I finally am able to put words to heart

and sentences to feelings.

Yesterday I went out to run a few miles but found myself surrounded by so much beauty

flowering trees, sparkling water fountains, and birds –

lots of singing birds. I had to stop.

I slowed my pace, came to a halt and reached inside my jacket for my cell phone.

It’s one of those that I can use to take photos.

With my attention focused on a gorgeous blooming deep pink azalea

I tried to focus my camera

but

however I turned it

all I could see was my own face.

My frustration mounted as I moved the camera this way and that way

but nothing worked.

The only photo that I could take had me in the forefront.

I finally gave up, put the camera back in my pocket and ran the rest of the way home.

“All I could take was myself,” I groaned to my almost 21 year old.

She reached her hand out for my phone and showed me the place to click.

“Somehow that got turned on but you can turn it off here,”

But why in the world would people want to take photos of themselves so much

that there is something you have to turn on and turn on?

It still puzzles me.

In a world where we are surrounded with beauty on every side

gifts from the Father’s Hand

treasures to be cherished.

Oh I’m all for a photo here and there

But why focus on ourselves when He is the Altogether Lovely One.

It has me thinking still –

Am I so obsessed with myself

to the point that I miss all that is around me at times.

Forgive me, Lord. Help me to lift my eyes higher

and give me Your Eyes to see what is most important in a quickly changing world.

Open my eyes that I might see –

Glimpses of truth Thou hast for me.