my heart did a sad flip.
Right, my dreams to write – my goals to finish that book –
all placed on hold for I have no idea how long.
Tears press behind my eyes as I realize that unless something changes
I won’t be writing very much for a while.
Life has intruded and with it the needs of others take center stage.
I have all that I can do to parent two special girls and work full time
along with caregiving and a zillion other things.
Writing? Well it’s become more a memory of my past then a present occupation.
It’s not the way I want things to be.
It’s not how I anticipated it.
there it is
and nothing much I can do about it.
In snippets of time I write a blog or a bit of verse to encourage another
but that’s not the kind of writing I was looking forward to doing.
No, this was going to be the year.
You know – the year of finally completing that work in progress.
Demands on my time
and drains on my limited energy
trap be in a web that hinders me in doing what my heart, my very soul, longs to do.
Usually I can look ahead to another time in the year
and be encouraged.
But not this time. No, the time is completely in my Father’s Hands.
So what do you do
when you must be content with limits on your writing?
How do you handle it when the timing you had planned
falls through and you are left faithfully doing other things
labors of love
acts of simple service?
For me, the only thing I know to do
Is to trust.
Yes, to trust the One Who planted within me the desire to write.
To trust His timing when the realization creeps in
that I might never be able to finish what I had set out to do.
bathed in salty tears
washes my heart from its own plans
and cleanses my soul to serve in the moment with joy.
So, if for now, my biggest writing
is a simple encouraging comment on another’s Facebook post or blog
or a little note of love and care
that will be enough.
I exchange my time for His Time
and in the doing discover peace.
It’s always that way, isn’t it?